It feels strange how fast this year has gone by. So many things have happened, some wonderful and some not so much.
Passing my first year of uni was the biggest achievement for me. I proved some people wrong about my capabilities and embraced looking to the future.
I learnt a lot about myself too. I commited to going to therapy and to dealing with my fucked up head. Building a relationship with ny therapist has taken time, but it has grown and blossomed into a trusting, safe and respectful one which I have slowly and steadily become attached to. Whilst it feels terrifying to me at times, its allowed me to understand far more about myself than i could have imagined possible. Just a relationship with a therapist, who would have thought that you could gain so much from something essentially so simple. It has kept me safe, it has given me a place to go each week where i can let down the barriers and be myself.
This year has seen my eldest child turn 18 and my middle child start high school. My husband and I were on the verge of splitting back in April/May but we weathered the storm, and whilst it’s far from prefect we are still together looking forward.
In May i became an auntie to my younger sister’s son. It has been a lovely experience to share and one which has also seen my relationship with my sister begin to grow stronger. She is a wonderful mother and her son is a delight.
I haven’t been feeling in the Christmas mood and have done nothing to get ready. Tonight I went out with my 18 year old to get Christmas shopping. It took us 2 and half hours or so to get presents and food and spend a stupid amount of money, but at least now the kids have stuff to open and we can have christmas dinner.
We still haven’t put up our tree, but that’s a job for tomorrow. I am looking forward to having a quiet day with my husband and children. Mentally I am struggling but being with those who mean everything to me will be something to look forward to and hopefully provide me with some happy memories to hold on to.
For now, I just want to say a MASSIVE THANK YOU to all who have read my blog this year. Who have been there with words of wisdom, support and encouragement or who have shared their own struggles with me. Thank you to each of you for helping me get through the dark times and not feel so alone.
I wish you all a very happy Christmas 🎄
Love and best wishes to you all,