Thankful for my family

This may be triggering…child abduction

Thursday’s have become a busy day of the week for me. I had literally not stopped since quarter past 8 this morning. For me this is a big deal.

This afternoon I picked up my kids and got home just after half 3. By about 3.50pm, maybe a bit later I was in a huge panic.

My youngest son had disappeared. We couldn’t see him anywhere around where we live. My heart was racing and those horrible fears that you go to when you can’t find that precious life you created hit me.

For a moment or two I literally didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to panic but I wanted to scream and cry and shout at the same time.

My wonderful neighbour and his two little kids looked in one part of where we are and I drove round looking for him. Unlike my normal anxiety ridden self I stopped and asked anyone I saw if they had seen my son on a yellow bike.

I had to phone his dad at work and tell him. Together we were panicked. Together we were scared and together we were going to be there to find our little 7-year-old son. Our baby.

Only yesterday, police confirmed that they had found the body of missing Ealing teen Alice. My husband works in and around this area, there are yellow ribbons tied to lamp-posts, posters everywhere. There are posters in the area in which I live too in the vain hope that someone would find the girl alive.

My agony ended just after half past 4pm when my daughter found him. I was just getting prepared to phone the police and report him missing. My daughter called me and let me know, I burst into tears and just the utter relief that washed over me was incredible. Mix of happiness, fear, anger etc. Just so many emotions. When my husband got home he was grey and we had a hug, just a sense of closeness that something had happened that had us both worried. All our bickering went out the window, all we cared about was the safety of our children and the sheer sense of relief that our son was OK.

I cannot begin to imagine the pain that Alice’s parents must be feeling. I wish with all my heart that their beautiful girl had not gone out, that she was safe at home and that they didn’t have to grieve for their baby.

This is not the first time I have gone in search for one of my children and i know without a doubt that it wont be the last either.  Despite being tired from a busy day of going to a course, counselling, seeing a friend for a couple of hours who is in a down cycle with bipolar and rushing around getting my kids from school, I managed to keep myself together and do what I had to do. I didn’t care about me, I cared about my son. I wanted him back. I wasn’t going to rest until I knew he was OK.

I admit that I had a huge adrenaline rush and I did have a bit of a crash, but I have not just been relieved he’s home. There has been the aftermath of what went on this evening and my 9-year-old daughter as been in tears tonight about the events. They are snuggled together in her bed. Whilst they argue like anything, they love each other and are very close.

This incident got the family sat together for pizza and a movie, no phones. Just us. We are a close family despite all the shit we are going through and I know that we will eventually work through my mental health issues and that we will be stronger and better for it.

Tonight I am thankful for my husband, my children and my brilliant neighbours. I am thankful that my son is safe in his bed tonight and that I got to tell him how much I love him and got to hear him tell me he loves me.

I also am thinking of the parents who are grieving for their daughter. I hope that the police will find the man responsible and that he will be brought to justice. Rest in peace Alice.



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