Day 8/30 – The person you wish you could be

There are so many things that I wish I could be. I wish I could be well, that I didn’t lack confidence, that my fears didn’t take over my life. I wish that I was secure, that I knew who I was.

To be honest this is not an easy thing to write because I think deep down inside there are many things that I DO LIKE about myself. I have never wanted to be famous and glamourous. I hate being the centre of attention and this would be the last thing I would want. I would like to be successful in my chosen field, but this is not something I am wishing I could be, this is something that I am striving to be.

There are times when I wish that I could be healthy and strong mentally and emotionally, but I am beginning to consider that the experiences I have had and the way that I am means that when I am eventually qualified as a psychologist/counsellor I will be able to make a real difference to people. I guess what I wish for is that I am able to be strong enough to truly help people and not lose myself as I did when I was training to be a social worker.  I would like to make a real difference in the field of mental health and make sure that there is enough support for all those who are in need of support. I wish that I had enough money to make this a reality, but it doesn’t require me to change the person I am.

Having confidence would be something I wish I had more of. I lack this and know that I need this if my dreams are to come true.

But really, the person I am…I am damaged, haunted by demons from the past but I have 3 amazing children whom I would be lost without and I have been lucky enough to marry my best friend and soul mate. I have things I need to work through and learn to manage, but none of this I would wish to change as if it hadn’t have happened, my life may well have turned out very differently and my future would not be the one I am hoping to ACHIEVE through HARD WORK.

Therefore, I do not wish to be anyone else other than myself.

 

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