There are so many things that I hope to achieve in 10 years, some of them I feel are fairly doable but some will be more reliant on external circumstances that I have no control over, for example the property market. I have taken some time to consider this challeneg so that I can be completely honest and perhaps use this as a goal setter for myself.
First and foremost is obviously my mental health. For me this is the biggest challenge and the main hurdle for me to deal with. Having borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a hideous mental illness. It is complex to understand, multifaceted and hard to treat. Treatments that work for some people are inaffective for others, this includes medication and therapy. In the past few weeks I have slowly come to accept that I may never be 100% better, that I may been on medication for a long term and that I may have to undertake several forms of therapy in order to deal with things. Right at this moment in time I am about to start counselling and drug treatment for addiction. I am also about to undergo a review of the group therapy I attended and has just finished with the intention of working out what the next step will be. So, in 10 years time I hope that I will be clean from drug addiction, have learnt how to manage my BPD at least whilst also dealing with the trauma from my past. This would be a massive thing and my ultimate hope.
I have other aspirations too. I am about to embark on a new journey at University studying a degree in Psychology and Counselling. I really feel that this is where my passions lie and that I have finally found the right path. I am scared and anxious as my last experience was fairly horrific with bullying, no support from the University and a mental breakdown which was very public and many people were suddenly involved in knowing things about me which I would never have shared otherwise. I currently don’t feel ready for Uni, but I have about 4 months before classes start so there is a good chance I may have found some sort of balance by then and will be able to manage this. I know that one thing I am really looking forward to is using my brain. It feels like its has been sent on some holiday and left my body behind with some stupid brain that is forgetful, raging thoughts when it needs to be resting and completely incapable of concentration when it needs to. I miss being able to put my thoughts and ideas together in a cohesive manner as well as learning and bouncing ideas off others with the same interests. I feel that a part of me needs this in order to feel more sane again. But its so reliant on my ability to deal with the current situation that I am really uncertain about what will happen.
With the degree I would like to do post graduate study in counselling pychology and get a doctorate as a counselling pyschologist. I would like to set up my own practice but also raise more awareness and understanding of more complex mental health disorders. I hope that I will also be able to do more to work with people who have MHI and addiction to access services etc. I have a lot of ideas and I hope that I might achieve one of these within 10 years.
The final thing that I hope for is to do with my family. I hope that in 10 years time my children are happy and healthy. They will be 26, 19 and 17. I hope that we will have raised 3 decent human beings who have compassion for other people. Who are hardworking and take nothing for granted. For my husband and I, the dream is to have our own home in the area in which we live. A home where the children will always have somewhere to come and where we can grow old together with some security instead of renting and having to continuously move. We will be 44/5. My husband has also been in a job he hates providing for the children and me for years, I hope that once I am healthy and qualified (which I will be) that he will have the chance to explore different options for work. I would like to be in a position to support him for a change. That would be an amazing feeling and one I really hope I might get to experience.
These are where I would like to be in 10 years from now. Where would you like to be? Please feel free to share your thoughts and ideas!